By: Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today
Summary: Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the bumps out of life for their children. However, parental hyperconcern has the net effect of making kids more fragile; that may be why they're breaking down in record numbers.
Maybe it's the cyclist in the park, trim under his sleek metallic blue helmet, cruising along the dirt path... at three miles an hour. On his tricycle.
Or perhaps it's today's playground, all-rubber-cushioned surface where kids used to skin their knees. And... wait a minute... those aren't little kids playing. Their mommies—and especially their daddies—are in there with them, coplaying or playby-play coaching. Few take it half-easy on the perimeter benches, as parents used to do, letting the kids figure things out for themselves.
Then there are the sanitizing gels, with which over a third of parents now send their kids to school, according to a recent survey. Presumably, parents now worry that school bathrooms are not good enough for their children.
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I saw examples of coaches "letting the kids figure things out for themselves" today at the Havoc tournament.
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The '97 girls White team had a corner kick,they were up 1-0 and were pressing hard to get a security goal in a hard fought match.
I noticed that Coach Mike Cheney wasn't yelling instructions,
he watched calmly as the girls set up, moved around and tried to make something happen on the set piece.
I'm sure this isn't a new approach for Coach Cheney, but his calm demeanor during a tense game helps his girls develop and succeed.
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In a 95/96 B game, the girls were clinging to a 3-2 lead when there was a stoppage for an opponent's injury.
The 12 year old captains gathered the team together as the player was attended to, to encourage their teammates- my daughter doesn't remember the specifics of what was said, but I thought the fact that it was player initiated was neat.
Coach Corey Harold has encouraged his captains to lead, and they are stepping up.
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